I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
bring money and cleavage
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
