she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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