A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
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Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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