are you so shy because you have an std?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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