I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize