How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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