Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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