If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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