it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
