All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
