She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
