4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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