can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
ttyl tear gas
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
