Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
