I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
