Do vagina's smell?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
