When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
