i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
