Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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