K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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