My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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