I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
