So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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