honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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