Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
