I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
