even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
