I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
