she looked like the before picture.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
