That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
