it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
