shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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