Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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