She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
