I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
