I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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