hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I met the friendliest cop last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
