she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
