I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
