coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Blood and glitter go together right?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
