That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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