so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Damn victory sex feels great
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
