Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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