are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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