Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
