East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
