you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
