I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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