In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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