I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he thought i was a dude.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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