She is in my trunk
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
