so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
