Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If that was your dad, he is hot
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Randomize