I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize