Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
