I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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