if you like me you must not know who I am
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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