Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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