things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I understand Curling. That high.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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