hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish I only lived at night.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
