i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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