When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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