hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize
