im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
